a boy and a girl are sitting together on a bench after a romantic date. “can i kiss you?” the boy says. the girl nods and the boy pulls out black and white face paint and starts putting it on her face. “you’re going to be gene simmons” he whispers.
Schmidt from New Girl aka Max Greenfield talks on Jimmy Kimmel Live about his bar mitzvah. hilarity, my man!
Perishables! Come Congregate in the Cold!
Little Hot Waves, Or, Let’s Get Brain Cancer While We Wait For The Popcorn
Mix Your Drinks! (Stir! Whip! Purée!)
A Configuration of Whisks Which, When Activated, Allow Sufjan Stevens to Cook a Fluffier Omelette
Toaster (For the Toastless)
So you’re 19 years old, are you going to college? (x)
from “Why Do I Live in Pawnee? An essay by Assistant City Manager Benjamin Wyatt” in Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America.